Friday, June 5, 2009

Cold Tangerines

My roommate from college sent me the book, Cold Tangerines, by Shauna Niequist, for my birthday. I had read my roommate's copy a while ago and was eager to reread it. Again, I was struck by Shauna's ability to draw me into her writing. The first chapter is about waiting. We are always waiting for something...a big moment that will define the future, a relationship, a career discovery, a thinner and fitter version of ourselves, or a more mature, educated, and collected version of ourselves. We think that when what we've been waiting for actually happens, then life will truly begin.

During my last semester of college, many peers would make the excuse that they were going to drink and have fun because they would have to start "real" life after graduation. They seemed to be waiting for "real" life to begin. I never got that...what was it called that they were living at those moments? fake life? I realize that being in college permits a more carefree lifestyle and that this transition into becoming a self-sufficient adult is not easy, but every moment is life unfolding. The decisions they made, and I made, will stay with us as we now go forth from graduation.

My arena of waiting is slightly different from Shauna's and my peers'. Though I'm content to be where I am and who I am, there is still a sense of waiting for what God exactly has in mind for my life and what my future will look like. This, I know, is gradually unfolding as I live each moment. Yet, sometimes I wish that there was a big billboard that I could look at or a movie that I could watch that would explain it all. If that happened, I would try to make it on my own and would miss the whispers of God and nudges of the Holy Spirit that steer me in the right direction. So I suppose I'll have to just buckle my seat belt and go for a ride!

I have been pondering these two questions all week and will ask them to you: What are you waiting for? Is is prohibiting you from seeing what is happening in the present? Life is here and now, in this second that just passed us by.

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