Thursday, February 26, 2009

Funkville

Have you ever found yourself in a season of not being yourself? Like someone failed to let you know that you have switched bodies with a robot. You go through the motions without engaging in them and relationships become purely functional. I have been in this weird place for the past month. One of the chaplains at Hope spoke about being in this state, which he affectionately calls "funkville." He said, "It not a place, but a period of time in someone's life that everything seems whacked...life is out of rhythm...you feel that you're the only one in funkville...but know that it is part of the human experience." Funkville is marked with feeling out of your ordinary, needing a fresh revelation of who you are and who God is, questioning your purpose, and neglecting yourself and friends but not being able to blame time as the issue, it's you.

Today is the first day in a while that I feel like I'm stepping out of the muck and into a new awakening (and the sun is not even shining!). I don't have a headache causing me to be lethargic and I have a renewed sense of purpose. I can sing Sara Luneack's song, "Father, you are more than just enough, even when the times get tough. You're more than just enough." We were made to live intentional and victorious lives because He has redeemed us and has given us purpose.

If you ever find yourself in Funkville, it's alright. Don't feel guilty but rather breathe in deeply and say, "Be still and know that I am God." You will soon make it out...for God does not leave us to struggle on our own. He's faithful to finish what he has started and will bring it to completion when the time is right! Be encouraged this day!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"We were made to live intentional and victorious lives because He has redeemed us and has given us purpose." That is a very encouraging and insightful statement, Esther Joy. You're absolutely right. But a couple of weeks ago, I would have said, "Intentional and victorious? It's not happening." Lately I have heard myself saying, "Well, my life is sort of on hold for right now..." And then, after a while, when my discouragement lifted, I thought, "Well, not really. Teaching is on hold. My future at school is on hold. Going much of anywhere is on hold. Walking outside is on hold, even though it's 50 degrees and sunny! (Although I've made two trips all the way to the mailbox lately, holding onto Julie or Papa.) But my life itself isn't on hold. I can still pray, I can put on worship music and spend time with my Father (who understands everything that I'm thinking and feeling through this difficult time), I can read (Affliction, by Edith Schaeffer--very good), I can watch Voice of the Apostles DVD's, I can do my Daniel Bible study, I can talk on the phone with loving friends who pray with me and who sometimes stop in and have tea with me...And I can sit by my 'laughing fire' (Ruth Graham) and enjoy the warmth--and the blessing of watching our beautiful wooded back yard from the couch." No, God has not left me to struggle on my own. I do wonder about my purpose during these days. But He is showing me the incredible blessing of the Body of Christ: sisters who bring meals, drive me to doctors' offices,send cards, laugh with me, share their lives with me...And He is demonstrating to me, again and again, His gentleness--which is what won my heart to His in the first place, so many years ago.
I'm sorry you were in Funkville; I didn't know you were. I'm glad you've emerged! I feel as though I am too, gradually. I'm trying to be thankful for each small gift that my Father sends my way, with His love. Talking to my sweet daughter on the phone yesterday was one of them. :-)
I am fervently hoping that when we come to graduation two months from now, I will not only be walking on my own, but doing cartwheels!! I love you.
Love, Mom